Love Your Body Now
by Christine Mason McCaull
Wherever you are, love your body as it is right now. I mean NOW, not when it achieves some desired future state or as it was at a reminisced point of peak fitness. I mean NOW, not when it is ailment free. It’s a magnificent machine, and does wonders for you everyday. Maybe it only gets your spirit from the bed to the bathroom, or maybe it allows you to have babies, or peel a banana or walk to the store or dance Swan Lake or hold a handstand. Whether it is fat or tall or small or imbalanced or polished or bearded or wispy or unpredictable- just love it for what it does for you. Appreciate all the elements and miracles that allow you to live- strong legs, ample hips, the crook of the elbow. The fullness of the heart beating, veins throbbing, stomach growling YOU!
Decommoditize yourself. Your BODY may be valued in the abstract by the culture at large for its sexuality, its reproductive and productive capacity, its creative capacity- or any number of other things. Don’t allow yourself to be commoditized! There is no cookie cutter beauty, sexuality, age, attractiveness- these are cultural constructs, and there is no need to accept these constructs or support their ongoing existence. If you were born in a different place and time, the rules would have been different. They are not real! Plus, realize that a lot of people make money by trying to convince you that you should be different- they take your resources and power by trying to trick you into thinking you will have more resources and power or love by investing in trying to fit the stereotype of beauty. Imagine what would happen if the scores of hours and all the emotional and intellectual energy that went into counting calories or self berating actually went into living! Take a cue from artist Stefan Sagmeister, who says: “Trying to look good limits my life”. Derive your value from being most fully alive, from the times when you are intimate, compassionate, caring, creative, engaged- not from the outward projection.
Decommoditize others. Stop praising other people for the values of the commodity-body culture, and start calling out those qualities that make them most themselves, approachable, reachable, human! For example, don’t say “you look great”, “look thinner”, etc…don’t say anything about looks at all. Begin to notice and compliment people when they embody values that are more to the point: for their humor, intelligence, flair, originality, intensity, focus. Tell them “I love it when you smile- you light up the room!” Even better, take the time to pause and look into people’s eyes and lift the veil that separates you. Check your own judgmentalism at the door and try to see the person behind the body.
Get Real. Look around you at REAL people and REAL bodies of all ages. How does skin age? Joints age? What’s genetic? What’s diet and habit? What is the range of appearance? How many people do you see that look like the magazines? This is the range and magnificence of humanity and there is no shame in it. Those who would judge have not yet seen this truth. In this context you are but one in 6 billion- and probably not that different from most.
Want to get really real? Go somewhere and be naked, in a non sexual way. There are hundreds of places where hippies, free spirits, and those that wannabe free go and take their clothes off and lay in the sunshine or ride a bike or swim or just enjoy what Benjamin Franklin called “the Air bath”- his recommended practice of laying naked in the open air for an hour a day. See people- scrawny, broad, dimpled, pimpled, BEAUTIFUL people from 8 to 108 being naked just because and not judging each other at all. Go to the Burning Man festival, and ride to the outside edge and drop trou- feel the sun on your breasts and give yourself a love bath. Walk among others similarly attired and 99.8% won’t have a thing to say- you are just a body among bodies- free with no shame.
Heal old traumas in the body. All of the violent messages, imagery, dysmorphia, lack of relevant and meaningful comparison points, abuse, injury- let it fall away. Develop a practice of appreciation, gratitude and genuine FEELING of being in your body- how the breath moves, how the limbs move, and become free. Any combination of awareness, asana and breathwork will help you let go of those things which don’t serve you.
Show your love through action. When you love someone or something, you start caring for it, you bring it nice things, you polish it, nurture it, do nice things for it. Take it out to play! Let your love for your body come out naturally- not as a compulsive desire to fix something or get somewhere, but lovingly and kindly form a place of joy.
Show your love through kind words and appreciation. The same goes for praise and appreciation. Whenever your hear the old tape saying something like “I am so fat!” counteract it with 3 positive mantras- this body serves me well, and lets me paint. It lets me climb on the roof, and I am damn happy in the sack. Practice self massage, giving gratitude for all the parts from toe to crown.
Your body is a plaything for the spirit. Even in saying “I am working on myself “, you acknowledge the duality of the spirit, the I, the self, as separate from the body. In moments of peak meditation or tantric experience, you can catch a glimpse behind the veil of the body, seeing to the bottomless depths of another person’s soul. Your senses allow experience, imagine your body as a hula hoop swirling around the soul, enjoy it, marvel at what it can do how it works, engage it in the world around you in every possible way.
Change what you desire to change through effort stemming from joy, not from a desire to get somewhere for any other reason.
Christine Mason McCaull is a mom of 6 (4 by birth and 2 borrowed!), devoted yogi, startup CEO and writer living in Sonoma, CA. In addition to various technology enterprises, she is the founder ofwww.gogreenonline.com, www.wiredsonoma.com and the curator of www.TEDxSF.org. Her blog on social media, sustainability and conscious living can be found at www.sweetmedia.us. Her upcoming book, Seeking Eden, surveys utopian movements , and visits the top 10 pluralistic intentional communities around the world, extracting lessons we can learn to create better families, schools, organizations and towns.